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Get Over It?

by | Oct 15, 2024 | ACA And The Arts, ComLine

(Authors Note: A short poem about a dismissive phrase I've heard a few times, sometimes from well-meaning people.)

Get over it: 
three of the ugliest words I have heard, 
spoken only by those who cannot hear the heart. 
I first heard it from a preacher. 
I forget the context. 
But I never trusted him with my heart. 

I remember my first stitches. 
I was three years old. 
My mom didn’t tell me to get over it. 
Instead, she calmed me 
and comforted me 
and distracted me 
while the doctor sewed the stitches. 

I grew up with domestic violence in the home. 
Some have told me to get over it or to just forgive. 
But the faulty foundation will not just go away. 
I must dismantle and rebuild. 
This takes time and energy and grief. 
I will not just get over it. 
I will face the ugly truth with integrity. 
I will walk through the agony, not bypass it. 

I was betrayed by toxic theologians. 
I thought they were my friends. 
But when I stood my ground on one issue, 
they attacked and condemned and cast me out. 
They violated my trust. 
I lost my entire social circle. 
I will not just get over it. 
I will process the pain and grow through it. 
And I will exercise care in who I trust. 

I lost my brother, 
my one remaining sibling, 
to suicide – 
an incomprehensible decision. 
I will not just get over it. 
I love him too much for that. 
I will mourn him. 
I will honor him. 
I will hold him in my heart. 
I will not rush the process. 
I will not pretend. 
I will not forget. 

When someone says, “Get over it”, 
this is what I hear: 
I don’t want to hear about it. 
I will not walk with you through your trauma. 
I want you to protect me from your grief. 
I want you to play fantasyland with me. 
You must conform to my expectations 
and pretend that nothing in life troubles you. 

Absolutely not! 
I will not play make-believe games. 
I will not protect illusions. 
I will struggle forward and grow. 
I will face the monsters. 
I will not sidestep reality. 
I will not shrink. 
I will take the next step forward. 
I will practice emotional integrity. 
I will honor truth in my heart. 

– Healing Heart Warrior (Tom M.)

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