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Rebalance

by | Mar 1, 2022 | ACA And The Arts, ComLine

Imagine a balance

Or a see-saw

With a boulder resting on one side.

You are pushing down on the other

To even out the beam,

Pushing with your whole self, muscles

Shaking.

Or imagine you are trying to pull free

A rope

Or length of fabric trapped

In the earth under a mountainous rock,

Leaning back, digging in your heels,

Straining.

Imagine

You have been doing this for months

Years

Longer than you can remember

So long you don’t remember

Or pay mind to the effort.

Then the fabric snaps

The boulder disappears.

The weight of the world changes.

You lose your footing,

Hit the earth with a thud

Of bruising flesh

As you try to make sense

Of a dense absence.

That is what it was like

When my mother died

And I realised all my striving had been anchored to her.

Now the heavy threat of her

Is replaced

By a disorienting weightlessness

And I am left sitting

Exhausted

As the trembling leaves my bones.

No need to keep pushing and pulling

As though the rock is still there.

Rest now.

Rebalance.

Saskia S

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