To receive a blessing, like Jacob wrestling with the angel.
a blessing for my elder years, these years of letting go.
To receive the wisdom of the teachers, those teachers
that I didn’t recognize, hiding in the corner, silent,
the ones who didn’t seem to have too much to say.
To let go of my ideas of how it should be done.
To let it go exactly the way it will unfold.
To remember those who came before.
To honor those before me, to accept their gifts.
To find my deepest self, the self that gives
the perfect fried egg to her child and takes
the broken one herself.
To give the power of writing full rein,
let it take off through the meadow, trust
I won’t fall off or be thrown.
To let my writing be an offering to me,
then to see if it is wanted, needed, and offer
freely to those in need.
To create from plenty. To put down praise,
knowing there will never be enough, a sip of praise
setting off a thirst that leads me to the addict’s
sick romance.
To believe: there’s nowhere else I need to be.
There’s nothing else I need to be doing.
Connection to Recovery:
Gratitude is a key concept of recovery. By focusing on the gifts of the spirit, I can see my growth in the program. The final couplet in this poem echoes a statement made by a retreat leader years ago. When I can be present to the gifts of the day rather than thinking about all the projects I want to do, I can be truly available to others. I can experience the blessing of connection.
Christine B