I often wake up anxious. My eyes pop open and my heart rate increases. Not because I'm in immediate danger or late for work. But because after growing up in an alcoholic home, my fragile nervous system is set to "High Alert". My survival instinct is programmed for any hint of danger and often kicks in before any danger is even present. Just in case.
I used to soothe myself by lengthy scrolling through the news and social media on my phone. If I could gather enough information on what was happening in the world before getting out of bed, perhaps I could side-step the day's dangers ahead. While I did end up being well-informed, this pastime didn't soothe the little child within, the one who really needed soothing.
Since joining ACA over a year and half ago, my phone now brings me to the ACA WSO Daily Meditation in my email. It arrives about 4am, in time for the days I have some early morning worry or rumination. It’s a comfort to see it in the list of unread emails, even before I click it open, a reminder I can start today differently. I can read it quickly or slowly, or read it again if I’ve sped through it the first time.
I’m grateful for the day I realized I could scroll through the ACA Daily Meditations in the early morning, and continue scrolling to my heart’s content through the electronic version of the ACA Big Red Book, if I need more. I can take my scared inner child to the solution, rather than to stay steeped in the problem. My phone has become the place where technology and spirituality mix.
Rae M.