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You Know You’re Dysfunctional When:

by | Jul 15, 2022 | ComLine, Voices of Recovery

  • Switching from green tea to hemlock seems like a healthier choice.
  • You start choosing up sides only there’s no baseball diamond.
  • Screaming, jeering people across from you aren’t waving pennants in soccer stadiums.
  • Getting even no longer refers to balancing your budget.
  • You name your tennis balls before you practice serving.
  • Your bumper sticker reads, “Attack people, not principles.”
  • You’re alone and hear a maniacal laugh, but the TV is off.
  • Felony warrants have been distributed for what used to be your former issues.
  • Nuclear waste symbols at hospitals seem like potential sites to pick us a little something to pack in with your buckshot.
  • Your regularly-scheduled intrusive thoughts are interrupted by unfamiliar intrusive thoughts.
  • You learned to recover from your control issues watching a guy with 3 halves of walnut shells and a green pea.
  • While playing Whack-a-Mole at the arcade, you apologize aloud to each mechanical mole you hit on the head.
  • You share how unsafe you feel in the meeting, then the Chair asks you to give your report, and you suddenly remember you are in a business meeting.
  • After half the people sitting in the circle have introduced themselves and it is now your turn, you give your first name only, qualify as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, and then realize you are in a training seminar with your co-workers.
  • You go from being Superman, to Little Orphan Annie, to being an ogre, only there is no stage set, cameras, props, or cue cards.

Pamela M

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