Connections - A Guide to Using Support in ACA Recovery

8 chapters on how to find support in ACA.

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The Connections book began as an answer to a delegate motion to clarify the difference between a fellow traveler and a sponsor, which was not clear in the Big Red Book. In the course of examining this question, the committee realized that there were many other issues that could be discussed relating to support in recovery, including solving common problems in support relationships and examining the benefits of Support. This book presents a wide ranging view of support from the standpoint of both parties to the relationship, the one seeking support and the one offering support.

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"When I first came into the program, I was extremely fortunate to be invited into a 20-week Yellow Book step study group. The group had an experienced leader who skillfully kept the sizable group safe and on task...Listening to other's stories, I found deep compassion bubbling up for people I previously would have avoided because of my laundry list traits. Because of many of their shares, I was able to recognize and face much of the childhood trauma and abandonment I had been denying, and I began to find some self-compassion." -Fellow Traveler

"In almost six years of ACA, I have never had a sponsor, nor been a sponsor. I have done my deepest recovery work as part of small, intensive workgroups. It is mostly through these groups that I have met my closest recovery partners (what some might call co-sponsors) who I meet up with or speak to by phone at least weekly. I had ... therapists in the past. They were helpful, but the fact that my sponsor was willing to spend time week after week with me from the generosity of his heart helped me realize that I was worth it. He was a mirror for my own worth when I could not see it. Love was very transactional in my family. My sponsor loves me without wanting something back from me.
My main take away is that sponsors don't work well. There is just too much temptation to control others. I know I'm extremely sensitive to any work or reaction that is controlling. I have had it happen all my life. Several members in the region that I know had that issue with a sponsor. I like the fellow traveler model. With mine, this was the first relationship where I felt I was equal.” —Fellow Traveler

"When the Yellow ACA Steps Workbook came out, I and a fellow ACA member decided to take our steps together. We both had roughly the same amount of time in the fellowship. We called each other co-sponsors or fellow travelers ... We gave feedback only when asked to do so. Mainly, we practiced active listening to each other's responses." -Fellow Traveler