Adult children do not lack willpower. We have relied on our iron willpower to carry us through the most difficult of times. Sometimes, we may convince ourselves that in order to heal, we simply need more inner resolve. Even after we're in ACA, some of us try to will our Laundry List Traits away, thinking if we only had greater determination to get better, we could make different, healthier choices. Our desire is in the right place, seeking healing and recovery, but the method falls short. We may think we can read or learn about an easier solution and get better on our own, but we need the Twelve Steps of recovery and the fellowship to truly heal. There is no painless solution to our problem.

Throughout recovery, we will feel emotions and pain we may have suppressed. Grief over our childhood will surface, but it will not consume us. Our inner strength, once relied on for survival, will now give us the courage we need. We turn our determination not toward fixing ourselves in isolation, but to committing to our recovery in a supportive group setting.