"Self-forgiveness is an elusive concept for adult children. We ask that the adult child keep an open mind and consider that God has already forgiven the person." BRB p. 113
Forgiving others was tough enough, but for some of us, forgiving ourselves seemed a monumental task. We carried the shame and guilt passed down from generation to generation, from one hurt person to the next in a chain for maybe hundreds of years. We may have found that we needed to act compulsively to stay numb to the pain: maybe we chose drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, approval, cutting, video games, power, rules, or spending. We lived in fear because deep down we thought we were unlovable.
In ACA, we learn that we can have a relationship with a healing Higher Power that we can define in any way we want. If our families were abusive and perfectionistic, we no longer bow down to them. We reject the feelings of despair and hopelessness because they no longer belong to us.
As we begin to forgive ourselves for real or imagined wrongs, we become ready to reparent our Inner Child. In doing so, we make room for a new outlook, one that allows us to believe that part of us is already whole and sane, already with our Higher Power, and already forgiven. As we continue to heal, we will come to understand that we were forgiven all along.
On this day I will hold my head high and act as if I am forgiven, even if I don't yet fully believe it.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
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