"We believe that we will be safe and never abandoned if we are ‘nice' and if we never show anger." BRB p. 11
We went overboard to give to and care for others. No one asked us, yet we expected that in return they would nurture, praise, and acknowledge us. But why should other people be expected to go out of their way to fulfill our needs? When did they sign the contract we carried in our minds?
We learn in recovery that the praise, confidence, and caring we need must come from within ourselves. Being too nice eventually leads us to feel angry, resentful, and anxious.
As we begin to express our true feelings, we focus on ourselves and direct our energy toward identifying and correcting our character defects. Instead of getting stuck in our niceness, we follow the ACA Steps in our daily lives. As a result, heartfelt peace and contentment heal us and our relationships, one day at a time.
Relying on our Higher Power enables us to become stronger spiritually. As we no longer depend on others for our happiness, our self-confidence increases.
On this day I will stay mindful of how easy it can be to fall back into my people-pleasing mode. To help me move forward and avoid burnout, I will rely instead on my Higher Power and my sponsor to guide me.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 157