"We focus on others to avoid looking at our own behavior and fear." BRB p. 335
Why do some of us want to take care of everyone else so badly? Why do we get so incensed when we see others treated poorly, feeling anger and rage towards the perpetrator?
Yes, we feel deeply that no one should take advantage of other people. But the baggage we are carrying from our childhoods often causes us to go beyond trying to help someone. We can blow things entirely out of proportion with our unresolved sadness and rage.
In ACA, we learn that we cannot be effective in helping others until we deal with our own issues. We do this by getting honest about the true nature of our behaviors. When we fight someone else's fight, aren't we really fighting for that wounded part of us that remains unhealed? When we feel their pain and hang onto it, aren't we really feeling our own childhood trauma?
Often the best way to help others is to let them learn how to stand up for themselves. And the best way to help ourselves is to be aware of what we're doing and why we're doing it. When we focus too much on someone else's fight, we realize that it's because we have unresolved issues.
On this day I will be clear about my motives before I look outside of myself to take action.
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of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
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