"A good therapist…. should ask you about trauma and abuse, including child sexual abuse, if there are clear indicators of family history, acting-out behavior, records, or other discernible factors." BRB p. 462
Some of us have been in therapy with people who mirrored our abusive parents. They told us that our childhood sexual abuse was no big deal because what happened to children at a young age doesn't really affect them. We sometimes even allowed them to sexually abuse us in the course of therapy.
We realize that there are a lot of good therapists out there, but not all of them are safe. We do not let this stop us from getting the right help. We learn how to set boundaries with the people who work for us, including those who seem like they are in a position of authority over us. We stop trying to please others. We allow ourselves the space to say what we need, but we check first to see if it's safe to talk.
When a therapist isn't working for us, we allow ourselves to explore other options. When we stop going back to poisoned wells, we are reparenting ourselves with love. We learn to take the power back, the power that was stolen from us in childhood. We trust our instincts because we have created safe boundaries in which to allow them to be revealed.
On this day I will ask as many questions as I need to, no matter what the situation. If I'm not satisfied with the answers, I will explore other options.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 227