"We believe that something is wrong with us even though we cannot voice what the thing is. With this belief, we can go through our adult lives silently condemning ourselves and doubting ourselves as a normal course of living." BRB p. 30

When most of us came to ACA we had tried different approaches to change that may have helped move us forward a bit, but the underlying suffering and selfsabotage persisted. We were aware of our patterns, but we didn't know how to stop them.

It was easy for us to think there was something wrong that we couldn't stop. We thought we were doomed to this fate, and the hopelessness of it led to and perpetuated addictive and dysfunctional behaviors. This helped us feel alone and isolated, afraid to come out of hiding to expose the roots we were so ashamed of.

If we're fortunate and courageous enough to practice ACA recovery, we start to emerge from the "curse-like" nature of these painful thoughts. We feel glimpses of hope and promise that there is a way to stop repeating these painful patterns. We can stop condemning and doubting ourselves by speaking our truth in a safe and empathetic environment with other ACAs. We discover we're not alone; others have felt the same self-condemnation and self-doubt. This helps liberate us. We begin to build bridges that open ourselves to a new freedom and selflove that is ultimately what we've longed for.

On this day I will continue to be honest about my self-doubts and have the courage to tell my story. I will remember that I am not alone in this journey.