"Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set." BRB p. 591
As children, our integrity was badly mangled. Physical, psychological, social, and spiritual boundaries were rarely, if ever, respected in our homes. As a result of this conditioning, we didn't learn to honor our own boundaries or those of others. If we grew up in a house where our toes were continually stepped on and no one took responsibility, we may have become toe-steppers and believed it was normal.
We "come to" at ACA meetings. We learn about respecting boundaries at our first meeting when we observe the no cross talk rule. This healthy boundary allows each of us to express our reality without comment, judgment or placating behavior. As we continue to attend meetings and share our experiences, we may discover other levels of toe-stepping that we are still acting out.
Through the Steps, we discover how our childhood boundaries were violated. From there, we progress to acknowledging how those violations affect us today. Through reparenting ourselves, we reestablish healthy internal and external boundaries. We begin to restore our integrity by making others - even those in authority - aware of the healthy limits we are setting in our lives.
On this day I will honor healthy boundaries at my ACA meetings. I will use them as stepping stones to acknowledging my buried childhood memories and feelings. I am learning to set boundaries with integrity.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 268