"If you were touched, fondled, forced to perform sex acts, asked to perform sex acts, or watch sex acts as a child, it was not your fault no matter what the circumstance or no matter what was said by the adult or teen abusing you." BRB p. 174
Many of us came from sexually charged homes. We became part of our parents' sex life if they had sex in front of us. We may have been forced to listen to them talk about sex at the dinner table like it was no big deal. We might have been made a part of their extra-marital affairs when they fought about it in front of us and talked about it behind each other's backs.
We may have felt responsible for all of this. Our youth and sexuality were stolen from us because we couldn't protect ourselves. Their words became ingrained in us before we knew we were hurt. We may have acted out with other children to try and make sense of what we had heard, felt, and been exposed to. But then shame set in. Even so, it was hard to stop ourselves from sometimes being excited by the attention. We knew intuitively that this was a way we could get love, even though it felt bad.
Through ACA, we learn that no matter what happened to us, we know today that we are not alone, and that we aren't to blame.
On this day I will acknowledge my intense feelings that are tied up with any sexual abuse I experienced. I will stop myself from taking responsibility for what was done to me.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 272