"We stop in mid-sentence if we are putting ourselves down or criticizing our thoughts or behaviors. We identify the source of the negativity which is the inner critic inside all adult children." BRB p. 299
Who tells us each day whether we live up to a standard?
Who lies awake each night running over the "could haves" or "should haves" for the day or for days gone by?
We weren't born with shame; it was instilled in us. We had no experience to measure or reject that shame when we were children, so we had to accept it. But who is keeping that shame alive in us today?
It's our inner critic that reflects the negative voices from our past. But we now have the choice to change that voice - to live life on our own terms and bury the "could haves" and "should haves." We are no longer required to listen to the messages that keep shame alive in our everyday thoughts.
Who puts a value on us if we do not value ourselves?
In ACA, we are accepted for who we are. We join together, not to bemoan our imperfections, but to find "the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.*" Our strength in numbers gives us that courage and assures us that we are now and always have been valued human beings.
On this day I look at myself through the eyes of my fellow ACAs and my Higher Power. Instead of listening to my inner critic, I believe what they say - that I am valued.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved.
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