"Abandonment means more than being left alone or left at a doorstep." BRB p. 10
We felt abandoned emotionally as children when we were criticized and felt we didn't measure up to expectations. These abandonment feelings were made worse when we felt compelled to keep family secrets, which brought a continual sense of shame that someone could find out how really dysfunctional our homes were.
As adults, this often resulted in feeling triggered to build up highly emotional responses toward the pain of loss.
Before ACA, living with all of this pain and shame caused us to look outside of ourselves for love and safety. But with the help and guidance of our program and each other, we learn that self-worth, self-nurturing, and a feeling of safety can be developed within ourselves. Thus, our confidence grows and recovery becomes real, especially as we strengthen our belief in a Higher Power.
Recovery works if we don't stare at the past, but decide to make new memories each day. We find that developing into a "new adult" is rewarding. At the same time, our Inner Child continues to grow in a healthy way.
ACA teaches us to be confident in the knowledge that we are in charge of ourselves. We can learn to live in the present and concentrate on each day's blessings.
On this day I know I am not alone. I have the support of my ACA family that is helping me heal my past and build a strong future.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved.
Page Number - 353