Adult Child Defined
"An adult child is someone who responds to adult situations with self-doubt, self-blame, or a sense of being wrong or inferior - all learned from stages of childhood." BRB p. vii, footnote
We may have grown up with parents who used anger and conditional love to control us. Maybe they were perfectionists and we could never measure up to their ideals. We were left with a feeling of certainty that our feelings, opinions, and perceptions were inadequate - that it was wrong to be an imperfect human being.
As adults, our sense of wrongness from childhood may have kept us from expressing our true opinions; we feared others would abandon us if we disagreed with them. This may have led us to make unhealthy choices about partners or careers because our self-doubt was more powerful than our ability to trust ourselves.
ACA meetings finally provide us with an opportunity to break the "Don't talk, don't trust, don't feel" rule. As we face our shame and feelings of abandonment, we begin to realize that our self-image is not actually based on objective reality. We start to see more of the middle ground in situations and to approach life as balanced adults. As we learn to experience our Higher Power's unconditional love, we see that our opinions matter, and that even when we don't think and feel as others do, we are still lovable.
On this day I validate and honor my own feelings and views. With the help of ACA, I see myself in a balanced way and know I am capable of handling situations as a mature adult.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved.
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