"If our parents have said we are bad, dumb, or inferior, they were actually projecting what they believed about themselves. As children we were defenseless to throw off these projections. This is loss and grief carried into our adult years." BRB p. 200

The messages received during childhood can seem like an endless tape, the soundtrack of our often dramatic lifestyles.

Underneath the 'scapegoat' role one can hear the echoes of a caregiver who might have said, "You are a loser." Beneath the ‘hero' role, the equally disabling charge of being a "perfect child" rings in the ears. As children, we may have accepted such words as true; what we actually felt was likely denied.

Whether we were belittled for being kids or praised for being perfect, we may have unwittingly carried these charges into our complex adult lives as a secret code of conduct. As we recover, we begin to realize that such messages stole from us our authentic internal sense of worth.

In ACA, we listen carefully for those messages, recognizing their debilitating effects and how we recreate or reinforce them. Then we gradually work to reduce their hold on us.

On this day I will notice the messages replaying from my childhood. I will begin to lower their volume in my life until I can hear the voice of my authentic, True Self instead.