"We remember we can talk, trust, and feel instead of control, isolate, and fume. Relationships can be different in recovery." BRB p. 291
As children we relied on our survival traits to protect us from harm. Gradually, they grew stronger and more ingrained as we encountered greater levels of family dysfunction and the resulting fear. We carried our traits into adulthood. Initially, we were unaware of their effects, but our relationships suffered.
Through ACA, we realize our survival traits no longer serve us. When we consider emotional intimacy, we may feel scared and at risk for hurt. However, if we risk sharing ourselves with another, we become capable of having a true relationship.
Trusting another person with our most vulnerable selves is a new and maybe scary practice. We can let the other person earn our trust gradually as the relationship develops. We can ask for what we need rather than manipulate to get what we want. We can identify and share our feelings without shutting down or ruminating endlessly. We no longer need to keep our True Selves locked inside. When we risk honesty and openness with another, we discover a world of new possibilities, including love.
On this day I have the courage to break old patterns that keep me from deeper connections with the people in my life.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 22
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