"When we look at the exact nature of our wrongs, we see that we have harmed ourselves based on our sense of being unacceptable, inferior, or lost." BRB p. 198
For years we blamed ourselves for everything - what we did and what others did. To keep the peace, we made amends, both verbal and non-verbal, to unsafe, often violent people in our lives. We were the doormats we were raised to be. We hid our feelings and confided to no one.
Some of us, even after we started recovery in ACA, continued to keep things bottled up and wondered why we weren't changing. Somehow, we had interpreted "taking it to God" to mean just praying the uncomfortable things in our life away. We thought that expressing our feelings, especially anger, to others wasn't acceptable.
We now view anger as a normal, healthy emotion that can help us know when we need to set a boundary, get out of a specific situation, or let go of an unhealthy relationship. We no longer ignore how we feel.
We may create a list of triggers to help us get in touch with our feelings. We might keep lists of emotions to more accurately identify our own. We realize that even the seemingly negative ones are a part of the gift of being completely human.
On this day I will sit with my feelings instead of pushing them away. Then I will make a phone call to share them with a fellow traveler.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 24
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