"We see how we took on too much responsibility for others' thoughts and actions." BRB p. 115
Some of us were the overly responsible ones in our families. We learned that it was our job to control others, whether actively or passive-aggressively. Our goal was to prevent Dad's anger or Mom's depression; then maybe there would be some peace. Even though we failed time and again, what seemed like small successes "proved" that it was possible and kept us going. We told ourselves that yes, we could control the dysfunction.
As adults, when we took on too much responsibility for others, we were often eventually met with resentment and anger. Who were we to be telling others what to do and think? As a result, we may have lost important relationships and even our livelihoods.
In ACA, we learn that the most important thing we can do is take responsibility for ourselves first. This can be difficult, because our preoccupation with others may have left us with little sense of who we really are. But with time and the help of our program and fellow travelers, we see that this is the path to the peace we were always after.
On this day I will remember that I am not responsible for the thoughts and behaviors of others; I am only responsible for myself.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved.
Page Number - 75