"These adult children rarely stop to think that self-sufficiency is covering up a fear of rejection which they think could come if they ask for help." BRB p. 102
Most of us had no one we could consistently rely on as children. Everyone seemed to be caught up in the dysfunction, and we were left to manage things ourselves. We became very self-sufficient and were sometimes even praised for that ability.
As adults, our self-sufficiency became a way of controlling things around us. If we did it ourselves, then we didn't have to rely on anyone else, especially because experience told us that most people weren't trustworthy anyway.
Even in recovery, some of us clung to our self-sufficiency, not asking for help because we found it hard to believe that we'd get it. And we would simply not allow ourselves to feel rejected yet again.
But as we continued to go to meetings, we gradually heard the truths we needed and became stronger. We learned to allow ourselves to feel vulnerable and trust that there was help available if only we would ask for it - help in our recovery, help in our work life, and help in our personal life.
On this day I will give myself the gift of asking for help, whether it's in my recovery or anywhere in life.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
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