"We learned to block or deny our feelings as children to protect ourselves from our unhealthy family." BRB p. 343
Many of us were raised in homes where there wasn't enough love. We weren't encouraged to be ourselves and realize our true potential. We weren't allowed to have normal feelings, so we became numb. We may have been shamed when we felt sad or angry, ridiculed when we showed fear, or shunned when we sought love and understanding from our parents. What we took away was that there was something wrong with us.
And there was some truth to that, but not in the way we thought. We knew how to feel shame, guilt, sadness and fear, but the main problem was we felt them when we didn't need to.
Now, with the help of ACA, our meetings, and our sponsor or fellow traveler, we are given the chance to reparent ourselves. We learn how to feel without letting our feelings control us. We grow in self-confidence.
As our feelings surface, we begin to make decisions about how to handle them. Shall we speak our truth to those around us and try to work things out? Or shall we remain silent, either because the atmosphere is not safe or we don't want to upset the apple cart? There is no one right way. We give ourselves permission to choose what's best for us at the time. If we're uncomfortable with our choice, we ask for help.
On this day I ask for the courage and honesty to recognize my true feelings and deal with them honestly and safely.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
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