"My ACA counselor understood what I was trying to do. She helped me understand my loss or the pain of my ‘stuck grief' through the Fourth and Fifth Steps." BRB p. 150

The "stuck grief" is very difficult to dislodge because we keep up an endless array of defenses to keep it stuck. We can experience an overabundance of anger, sadness, food, shopping, underachieving, sloppiness, procrastination or cleanliness - a list that only skims the surface of how many ways we can keep our grief embedded.

Difficult as it may seem, the defenses and resistances we have deployed to protect us can be addressed and lowered and lessened after being in the program for a while. With regular attendance at meetings and the use of a fellow traveler or an ACA counselor, we find the strength to allow ourselves to become vulnerable.

As we continue on this new path, we develop greater trust and lessen our fear, which allows us to delve into a Fourth and Fifth Step and dislodge our "stuck grief." Like an un-stuck jam of logs, our grief begins to flow again down the river of our daily lives. We let the natural currents gently and slowly release it into the ocean of our Higher Power's love for us.

On this day I will work with my fellow traveler or ACA counselor to develop trust and lose the fear of dislodging my "stuck grief," knowing that the flow will be set by my Higher Power in whom I have developed trust.