"Many of us have children who will possibly qualify for ACA one day due to transferring our disease of family dysfunction to them." BRB p. 156
We remember wondering as we were growing up why life was so bad for us and not for other kids. We fantasized about how differently we would treat our children. They would never feel like this because we'd be the best parents - the parents we always wanted.
However, most of us weren't able to fulfill that fantasy. We wanted to act like loving parents, but often found ourselves doing the opposite. What was wrong with us? These were our little children, why couldn't we do things better? And the guilt began to plague us. We didn't yet realize that the effects from our childhood were so ingrained in us. No matter what we promised ourselves, no matter how sincere we were, we repeated the same behaviors.
In ACA, we are relieved to hear others speak about the same guilt, about their inability to be the parents they want to be. It's a relief to know we aren't alone.
We learn that the way to heal the relationships with our own children is to first heal ourselves by recovering from the baggage we've carried from our childhood. As we do so, we begin to lift our heads and free ourselves from the guilt that is keeping us stuck. We begin to change the way we do things.
On this day I will focus on my own recovery and heal myself first, knowing this is how I will have the most positive impact on my loved ones.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved.
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