"Freedom from alcoholic insanity is a question of responsibility. We cannot be responsible for something we did not create." BRB p. 88
We thought of ourselves as something worthless at the center of the universe. We had tried to commit suicide in many ways, both emotionally and physically, thinking to ourselves "Maybe this time they will see what is going on." But nothing changed and neither did our perpetrators. We spent all of this energy for what?
In ACA, we learn that we are the ones who have to change. To do so, we first need to let go of the responsibility for the alcoholic insanity. It has always been unmanageable, with or without us.
We start to see that we deserve to have a chance at a sane life, even though we aren't quite sure what that would be like. We look out before us and see there is light ahead. We can't see what it is, but we also can't stop moving towards it. It feels good and warm. That scares us at first, but it also feels new and exciting.
We put down our shame and our addictions that no longer serve us. We release our character defenses. It is time to see what this thing called life is about. We allow ourselves to walk forward.
On this day I will remember that I am responsible for myself, but not for the insanity of my childhood. I will use the memories to heal myself, but then leave them in the past so I can be free.
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