"The critical inner parent gives us that guilt feeling when we think about asking for what we need." BRB p. 49
In childhood, we seemed to have gotten lost in the shuffle. When we had needs and voiced them, we were often told we were being selfish and self-centered. Or we were told to take care of ourselves with words like "grow up!" that meant we were on our own. So we stuffed our wants and needs and moved on.
We usually took our survival mechanisms with us into adulthood. Oftentimes they turned on us, though, and we found ourselves in still more dysfunctional relationships, mimicking the same words and behaviors that were used on us as children.
When we reached the safety of ACA, and with help and support from our fellow travelers, we started sorting through our feelings and took an honest look at some of our people-pleasing or aggressive behaviors. We began to find a way to dispel the unearned guilt of our childhood that comes to us through our inner critical parent's voice. We now face only the consequences of our present day actions.
In working the Steps, we are given a chance to discover self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others. Through it all, we humbly ask for help from our Higher Power and it is there as we need it.
On this day I will look inward, ask for help from my fellow travelers and my Higher Power. I will forgive myself if I'm less than perfect. My critical inner parent's voice is losing its power over me.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
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