"In ACA, we learn to let go of control in stages. Our parachute is the Twelve Steps and a Higher Power of our understanding." BRB p. 40
While growing up, we may have felt controlled by our parents and the palpable dysfunction that surrounded us. As a result, in adulthood we found ways to take control, whether we did it directly or passively through covert manipulation. Being in control made us think we could determine our own destinies.
But trying to control people and situations is exhausting work. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we realize that the control we think we have is an illusion. Many of us learned this the hard way, as things began falling apart around us.
By working the Twelve Steps with the help of a Higher Power and our fellow travelers, we come to believe that our focus on gaining and maintaining control leaves little room for the healthy things in our lives, like positive self esteem, balanced relationships, spontaneity, and a world full of possibilities.
We also learn that letting go of control happens in stages. After all, we are trying to change an ingrained behavior that took a long time to ‘perfect'. The key is to be gentle with ourselves.
On this day I will practice letting go of the control I have worked so hard to have over the people and events in my life. I will forgive myself if I slip.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 40
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