"We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others." BRB p. 15
As children, many of us felt we were always wrong. Our parents/caretakers were quick to point out our mistakes, and seldom if ever pointed out what we did right.
As adults, we approach many problems, still with the assumption we are wrong. With that comes the assumption that others must be right. When asked our opinion, we often vacillate, attempting to read the face of the person we're speaking to so we can decide which response matches their opinion. Sound exhausting? It is!
In ACA, we learn about boundaries, that they need to be both communicated and upheld. So we start setting boundaries. But then comes the hard part: enforcing them. When we try to do so, we may immediately feel guilty, start second-guessing ourselves, and fear the other person will now think less of us. That guilt can undermine our recovery.
But with the help of our Higher Power and our fellow travelers, we learn to get past those feelings and stand up for ourselves. It's a process with some trial and error, but as we experience success, we start to feel empowered to be the person we were always meant to be.
On this day I know any guilt I feel for not giving in to others will pass, and my recovery will be strengthened by my ability to value myself.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
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