"PTSD symptoms can include hypervigilance or the constant monitoring of one's surroundings for potential threat of harm." BRB p. 345

Many of us have few concrete memories of childhood. We know we lived through amazing trauma, but if we're asked what happened to us, we often have few examples to relate. We may have defining moments that we remember, but we also have years of "blanks." Some memories we do have were related by our siblings.

We repressed our memories as a protection mechanism. But when we arrive in ACA, we try to locate them because they're the key to much of our dysfunctional behavior. Some behavior, such as hypervigilance, seems inexplicable in its intensity. We can even be sitting with our recovery friends, perhaps in a meeting, and we can't seem to let go of monitoring everything that's going on. What we might have previously labeled as a highly overdeveloped sense of responsibility is more likely PTSD.

As we work our program and become willing to uncover our trauma, we begin to free ourselves from the heightened state of awareness that wears us out and causes problems in our relationships. We unbury memories that have gotten us to this state, often with the help of therapy, and by sharing our story and listening to others in meetings.

On this day I will not be afraid to uncover the memories that seem to bind me to my dysfunctional behaviors.