"Each time we judged ourselves without mercy for common mistakes, there was loss." BRB p. 199
Many of us raised in dysfunctional families got the message that there was no room for error. We may have been raised by controlling parents who expected perfection. We were scolded or even abused for making mistakes. We weren't allowed to be kids and learn from our mistakes or taught that making mistakes was part of being human.
We internalized this judgment. Even after we left our childhood homes, we treated ourselves harshly when we made mistakes. Recurring thoughts may have kept an underlying anxiety alive within us, such as "I'm afraid I'm going to get in trouble. I'm afraid I'm going to get caught." Some of us were so ashamed of mistakes that we lied or cheated to cover them up. We might even have tried to numb ourselves from the anxiety of it all by engaging in addictive or compulsive behavior.
When we embrace ACA recovery, we discover that we can reveal our imperfections in a supportive fellowship. We can openly share stories of what we used to hide, and receive loving acceptance. We know we're not alone when we hear someone else share. We feel exhilarated and free when we work the Steps.
On this day I will identify a mistake I made and judged myself harshly for. I will tell this to at least one person whom I trust and feel unconditional acceptance from.
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of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
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