"Some parents routinely found fault with our thoughts or accomplishments without any apparent malice. If asked, the parent or caregiver would tell you that they meant well." BRB p. 36
We felt as if we couldn't do anything right because we couldn't. No matter what our caretakers intended, their emotional daggers flew at us fast and furiously and stung deeply. Even long after leaving home, we carried that critical voice with us; only now it was internalized.
We told ourselves we were being babies, that we were over-reacting, that no one meant us harm: all our concerns were only in our heads. We just needed to toughen up and stop taking everything so seriously.
Internalizing these messages for so long left us unable to claim our birthright of serenity, which would allow us to face life's challenges in an adult way.
In ACA we eventually turn around to face ourselves and our past. When we finish Step Five, a burden is lifted. We can see where we came from, who we truly are and who we can be. We are grateful that we have begun to question the voices inside as we dialogue with and challenge them. We no longer push these voices away. We invite them in and sit with them. We see our story unfold before us as we write and talk. We see the courageous little person who was faced with a childhood full of doubt and shame - and we have compassion for ourselves. We find our serenity.
On this day I honor and cherish the child within who was blameless then and now.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved.
Page Number - 341