"In some cases the stored hurt creates a dissociative effect in the adult. The adult child has dissociated from his or her body." BRB p. 17
As children we learned to go outside of ourselves to relieve the pain of whatever was happening in the moment. Being the object of our parents' vicious verbal and/or physical attacks hurt terribly, but many of us also experienced abuse at the hands of family "friends" and siblings that continued for years. We learned to be "somewhere else" when that happened. We were afraid to say anything because we feared the abandonment of whatever tenuous relationships we had.
As a result, many of us became adults who feared authority. If we were afraid of our father, we may have become fearful of men. If our mother was the perpetrator, we were fearful of women. In spite of this, we wanted these people to love us. When they were unhappy with us, we became helpless children, unable to verbalize our side of the story. We lost our autonomy.
Today we recognize our patterns. We know what's happening when it happens. We have a choice not to use our childhood survival skills. Instead, ACA affirms for us that we are adults and our feelings matter. We do not need approval from others. We own who we are. We can ask for what we really want, instead of seeking approval and being people-pleasers.
On this day I will listen carefully to my heart. I will speak up and voice my feelings, knowing that no abandonment is more painful than when I abandon my True Self.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
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