Generational Family Dysfunction
"We avoid blame because we are aware of the generational nature of family dysfunction." BRB p. 157
So many of us come into ACA blaming our parents for what has gone wrong in our lives. We tell ourselves, "If only I'd had a ‘normal' family I wouldn't have so many problems; why couldn't things have been different?"
There's no doubt we deserved better; as innocent children we had few choices. But as adults, if we continue to focus solely on blaming our families, we will perpetuate the dysfunction. It's generational, and it's the same system in which our parents were raised.
Often we didn't want to see our role in the continued dysfunction before we started our recovery. Maybe we even told ourselves "I won't treat my children like that." But it's likely we either did some of the same things or maybe we moved 180 degrees the other way, trying to be more of a friend than a parent.
But all children need reasonable parents, just as we did. Until we uncover and deal with our own issues, we'll continue to repeat dysfunctional patterns. The ACA program gives us the middle ground where recovery lives. And we deserve to live in that space.
On this day I will remember that family dysfunction is a generational disease. I affirm my choice to break the cycle by working my program.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 333