"…. some parents are so dangerous or perverted that the adult child must avoid them to stay safe and sane." BRB p. 232
Those of us who were sexually abused, either covertly or overtly, realize we were "soul raped." For a long time, we continually tried to do our part, to sweep off our side of the street, to seek change, but to no avail. The destruction was so severe that we were unable to maintain our integrity around our perpetrators afterwards for years. We felt there was no one who would understand, so we went on pretending, showing up, laughing when we didn't feel like laughing, smiling when we felt empty inside. And we always ended up feeling bad, holiday after holiday, and birthday after birthday.
With the help of ACA, we finally accept that the family we thought we had was really a fantasy we needed to believe in to keep ourselves alive as children. When we finally surrender and acknowledge the extent of the abuse, we detach from our perpetrators. We also detach from those who were supposed to protect us, but who instead protected the perpetrators by denying our stories; the ones who just wanted us to "get over it" so they wouldn't have to face reality.
On this day I will live in a new freedom that is based on truth and relationships with my new family and a loving Higher Power.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 336