"Before finding ACA, many of us believed we deserved what we got or caused the abuse to happen." BRB p. 28
An ACA ‘bottom' may take various forms. We say to ourselves "I can't stand being alone with myself," or "I hate myself." But if we analyze just these two statements, we can see they seem to speak of ‘I' and ‘self' as if they are two separate entities - and perhaps they are.
The ‘I' is our essence, the soul that was placed in our human body. The ‘self' in these negative feelings is only the person we think we are: the one who carries the past, is anxious about the present, and dreads the future. This false self is the creation of other people's words and deeds that caused us to hide our True Self. This hiding takes many forms, from physically isolating to being emotionally unavailable to ourselves and others. And when it becomes too toxic, we begin to seek help in order to find a new way of living.
In ACA we begin to question why we allow our false self to have so much control. We learn that the Steps are the pathway that helps us merge our ‘I' with our True Self, while shedding the old self we created in our childhood. ACA brings us the knowledge that we are all gifted human beings who did not deserve what we got as children. We gradually begin to realize that we are more than good enough.
On this day I will recognize when my abusive false self is in control. This will then awaken my True Self so I can celebrate the wonderful creation that I am.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
& Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number 340