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Grief and Childhood

Grief and Childhood

"Genuine grieving for our childhood ends our morbid fascination with the past and lets us return to the present, free to live as adults." - Big Red Book, page 83.My morbid fascination with my past perfectly describes the dissociative state I was in when I compulsively...
Mistakes

Mistakes

"We also have great difficulty accepting mistakes as adults." BRB p.38It seemed like every life-pursuit I undertook involved "white-knuckling". I can look back at major accomplishments and remember thinking how I had no idea what I was doing at the time. Looking back...
Letting Go

Letting Go

As an ACA, letting go of anything always felt like jumping from an airplane without a parachute. I held on for dear life and didn't let go of anything. Itโ€™s how I ran my business, itโ€™s how I was in charge of my family, and itโ€™s how I held on to my traumatizing...
Authority Figures

Authority Figures

(This essay and share is based on the July 21 daily meditation on abuse from authority figures found in โ€œStrengthening My Recoveryโ€) As a recovering adult child of an alcoholic and survivor of childhood emotional and sexual abuse, I developed a fear of authority...
Grief Work

Grief Work

I've been in ACA since April 2021. Since this past January, I've been incarcerated as a Federal inmate in a low-security prison for a sex crime I felt I was powerless to avoid. Those words are in our BRB - "Some ACA's are in prison for the rest of their lives for a...
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