Reparenting
R is for reframing comments from my critical parent. She is trying to protect me in the only way she knows how. I can love her too. E is for enlightenment, illumination, and understanding. For education to my core, insight, discernment, and growing wisdom. And for...
Counting Myself In
Excluded from the playground. Always picked last for any team sport. And when I am picked, quickly excluded from participation. I’m part of my family, but I don’t belong. Expected to be quiet and invisible. Expected to just go...
Inner Child
Loneliness
Loneliness is an apple hanging from a tree.While plenty of brethren, no skins touch.The space between ensures no borers to the core.No branches to mar the perfect exterior.Loneliness is standing in a crowd.Feeling the thump of music but not my heart.Wondering why all...
Brave
Strong willedUnique and proud of itA go getter; doerRiding the wavesAgainst the grainHead always above waterEyes and smile changing the mood of any roomSkilledDeterminedInnocentHard at timesChallengingDemandingDefensiveDefenderPerseveranceNot trustingHow could you?All...
I Said
I said I was very suicidal, in serious danger of acting it out, and therefore asked for being urgently hospitalized. I was desperate and called earnestly for help (already a teetotaler for three years, thanks to AA and DESPITE medicine). They found a place for me in a...
Powerless
What did Powerless mean to my inner child? I was powerless growing up in an incredibly controlling and narcissistic envelope, with players of various narcissistic flavors. No red flags here, all normalized. I was powerless over being assigned the role of family...
Joy in the Brushstrokes
Last week, someone asked me what I do for a living. I braced myself and said, “I write for a consulting firm.” I sensed their stilted reaction and backpedaled. “I’m just glad I get paid to write.” They cleared their throat. “I knew someone with a 9 to 5 once.” He knew...
Busyness
Busyness is my drug of choice and it is why I don’t ask for help. Busyness is a trustworthy way to numb out. Busyness is a trustworthy way to create the illusion of being productive, chasing the social capital of achievement, of future accomplishments bringing...
Depression
Depression, you’ve got meI’m here but I’m not Go to work, pay the billsCare for the kids, clean the houseExcept when alone, slovenlyClothes on the floorDishes strewn on countersShoes blocking walkwaysNetflix for hoursI should go outsideI should exerciseI should go to...