Computer Virus
daddy-Monster, I remember … I was three years old. You beat me as I was lying in bed. You blamed me for the beating. The worst part of the beating is that I believed your lie. Through countless other acts of violence, you confirmed...
Inaccessible Serenity
When I first discovered the 12 Steps in AA, at the age of 36, I also discovered how much I used to ruminate an obsession of some kind, as a survival trait. Even when alcohol abstinence had become easy, I was still very suicidal, and I needed to channel my mind. Later,...
Literature Committee Needs New Leaders
As of the 2024 Annual Business Conference, the Chairs and Vice Chairs of the Literature Committee, the Literature Evaluation Subcommittee (Lit Eval), and the Literature in Development Subcommittee (Lit Dev) will be stepping down. These are: Literature Chair -...
My Journey with “Ready Set Go!!”
Tomorrow, I will be attending my fourth round of “Ready Set Go!!” online meetings because it has been profound for me. I attended my very first session last August 29th and have been attending ever since. “Ready Set Go!!” is a six-week introductory program to the ACA...
Thicket of Idols/ Children of Light
They were lifted up,Idols of a past best forgotten,But ingrained within the body,My spirit kept score. Idolatry,Prestige and focus drawn to an idol,Larger than little me,Ready to be smashed across my back, Overflowing current of suffering,The idolization of Anger by...
Sortir du marécage
On m’avait fait gober que j’étais handicapée psychique, porteuse d’une maladie mentale d’origine génétique. En vrai, l’origine de mes symptômes n’était pas dans les gènes, mais bien dans la gêne. La honte. Le marécage familial, où la tolérance à l’abus est telle qu’on...
Truth & Denial
Truth, the ugly Truth. The violence of generations. Too painful to bear. Locked tightly away in a “safe” room. Do not open that door! No one wants to know. Squander the years away – in feigned ignorance. The door cracks open and...
An Interesting Opportunity
An interesting opportunity has recently arisen for meTo travel somewhere special and explore somethingLong-time on my bucket list.That interesting opportunity has started a war in meBetween the nasty Negative-Nancy, doubting-Debbie-Downer,That is my critical parent...
My father…
My father was a Rage-a-holic, verbally and physically abusive, and more…Drama “King” is an understatement.He seemed to derive pleasure from inflicting pain and humiliation on the rest of us. As a child I could not stand up to this man… Had to put up with this “bully”...
Making and Taking My Own Steps
I worked the ACA Twelve Steps in a “fast” group in the first year I joined ACA. The experience was invaluable, opening my eyes to the big picture of intergenerational trauma and my childhood. Each time I worked a step in the yellow workbook, I wrote Tony A’s version...