Thicket of Idols/ Children of Light
They were lifted up,Idols of a past best forgotten,But ingrained within the body,My spirit kept score. Idolatry,Prestige and focus drawn to an idol,Larger than little me,Ready to be smashed across my back, Overflowing current of suffering,The idolization of Anger by...
Sortir du marécage
On m’avait fait gober que j’étais handicapée psychique, porteuse d’une maladie mentale d’origine génétique. En vrai, l’origine de mes symptômes n’était pas dans les gènes, mais bien dans la gêne. La honte. Le marécage familial, où la tolérance à l’abus est telle qu’on...
Truth & Denial
Truth, the ugly Truth. The violence of generations. Too painful to bear. Locked tightly away in a “safe” room. Do not open that door! No one wants to know. Squander the years away – in feigned ignorance. The door cracks open and...
My father…
My father was a Rage-a-holic, verbally and physically abusive, and more…Drama “King” is an understatement.He seemed to derive pleasure from inflicting pain and humiliation on the rest of us. As a child I could not stand up to this man… Had to put up with this “bully”...
Making and Taking My Own Steps
I worked the ACA Twelve Steps in a “fast” group in the first year I joined ACA. The experience was invaluable, opening my eyes to the big picture of intergenerational trauma and my childhood. Each time I worked a step in the yellow workbook, I wrote Tony A’s version...
How Are You?
“Good!” I feel the need to summarize. “Good!” The exclamation point is to create interest without divulging anything. I do not plan to give any info. I do not plan to offer any details. This is due to an assumption that the other person is not actually interested. Or...
Gated
There is a fine line in the sandWalking a tightropeLearning to juggle one egg at a timeWalking on a frozen riverBeing aware of the delicate waterThe faded line on the beachIt sometimes can move from the waves washing ashoreI can forget where the line wasSlowly dipping...
The Ex
This writing is from the point of view of the ex-husband, with the twist of some of the descriptions coming from what I have learned in recovery. It describes some of the thinking processes involved in this dysfunctional marriage and family. Handed down from...
Mommy From Heaven
A short poem written in my mother's voice, talking to me from heaven. Dear little Sammy, I think of you nowHow I managed to raise you I will never know how Although you were born into a world of deep shameI loved you and gave you your grandfather’s name There were...
Ocean Rescue – Fail
When I was ten, my daddy-Monster carried me out of the Pacific Ocean, yet failed to rescue me. Ten years old:One decade of domestic violence.One decade of explosive terror –from daddy-Monster. My parents drive usto Southern Californiato visit relativesand enjoy the...