Quatre postures
1. CoupableIl y a longtemps, je suis sortie de mon déni matrimonial : mes rêves de maternité ne se réaliseraient jamais, je n’étais guère qu’une cocue risible, il devenait urgent d’abandonner mon bénévolat idéaliste, trouver un vrai boulot, apprendre à vivre par...
Open To Receive
Early in my recovery, I thought if I could just figure out a way to remove all of the defects that I perceived in myself, I would be able to live a happier life. Accepting that I had experienced trauma in my early life was easier for me than figuring out what to “do”...
Socializing
Reaching out.Loathing the risk.Shaking hands.Putting on the smile.Saying something inane.Doubting all the while. Cheery and chipper.Everyone’s favorite.All the while feeling insane.Seeming secure in the limelight.Pretending to be calmDoubting all the while. Reaching...
Spotlight on the WSO Board: Erin D.
Erin D. from Pennsylvania, USA, has served as a WSO Trustee since 2019. She will be stepping down from the Board of Trustees at the end of her term of service after the 2023 ABC. In this interview, we learn more about Erin, her experience as a Board member, and her...
Fun
Weathering Storms
I have spent most of my life drowning. Every time I came up for air there was a thumb pushing me under. If the thumb was taking a break, there was someone’s opinion, dragging me under. A constant battle of gasping for air. No break in the waves of trauma as far as the...
Self-Doubt No More
As an Adult Child, I have always been consumed by self-doubt (see daily meditations of June 27, September 08, November 06). Double-binds were the rule in my family, along with lies, secrets, enmeshment, triangulation (= no direct communication, always tell a third...
Innocent Man
I am an innocent man.Falsely accused and convicted in the gaslit court of daddy-Monster.Sentenced to two decades of extreme terror and exposure to parental violence.Another decade in the halfway houseof religious deception and abuse.Sentenced to 25...
Cancer and the Laundry List
After 75 years of extraordinarily good health, I have recently had a series of health issues which appear to be unrelated but which I suspect are connected in some way that I don’t understand. As an ACA, I hate mystery. I hate not knowing. But my intuition tells me...
A Pantoum on the Adrenals
Freeze - All attention must be on the current crisis.Freeze - I spend most of my day waiting for a crisis. Freeze - All resources must be ready to be deployed in the crisis.Freeze - All resources on constant standby.Freeze - I spend most of my day waiting for a...