Daily Affirmations
“We are much like other people” in fellowship. In practical terms, the AA program’s view that “we are in this together” and “we are the resources that are there for each other” is a baseline I can make use of, whether I ever was a drinker or addict or not. When the AA...
Fight, Flight, Freeze (Facing PTSD)
ChildhoodFight… to be seen, heard, cared for, respected, understood, protected… No way. That kind of dreams never came true.Flight… Dreams, imagination, stories in my books and in my mind… All that can re-write crude life is welcomed.Freeze… Don’t talk, don’t feel, be...
Tips for Step 10
“Gradual Progress Is Progress.” I face unpleasant circumstances as the motivation for joining a 12-Step program (or going to therapy, where I am referred to one, as a follow-up for that work). Do adverse experiences end when I come to recognize them? Wouldn’t that be...
Woulda Coulda Shoulda
Use your brain, that's why God gave it to you.How many times do I have to repeat myself?Who do you think you are?What did I tell you to do?Why aren't you doing that yet?What's between your ears? Air?You don't ever listen!Here we go again!Do as I say, not as I do.What...
Letting Go
As an ACA, letting go of anything always felt like jumping from an airplane without a parachute. I held on for dear life and didn't let go of anything. It’s how I ran my business, it’s how I was in charge of my family, and it’s how I held on to my traumatizing...
Monopoly
The board was so immaculateColorful and demeaning all in onePossibility of jail, if not carefulRules modified by people I was playing withStrategic and aligned to have an advantageThe street signified the poverty and wealthBoardwalk and Park Place were above most pay...
Too Late
I’m in trouble. Again. Was I too loud? Did I say something wrong? I can’t recall. I try desperately to remember. Maybe, if I figure it out, I can say I’m sorry before it’s too late. Suddenly, my mother kicks me under the metal-rimmed restaurant table. A sharp,...
Beneath The Grey Facade
BENEATH THE GREY FACADE dust off the shadows beneath the grey facade venture in through crusted corridors treasure is unearthed for the one who cares to listen she yearns for her story to be told take the young girl’s hand as she leads you through the forest...
There’s No Place Like No Peace At Home
My first memory of daddy-Monster: I’m three years old; he beats me as I lie in bed. There’s no place like screaming myself to sleep. Daddy-Monster locks me in the scary basement when I’m four or five. There’s no place like knowing I’m safer behind a...
If I Had Stayed
Timidly I share one story, then only after assessing your reaction, I share another.As if feeding a duck, one piece of bread at a time, Ensuring it will follow.Once you are full, I watch carefully for clues that you will fly awayMy pain too much for any...