A Child Of God Died Today
A child of God died today.When I see my parents as children I see the abuse andNeglect they survived.I see them as hurt, helpless souls trying to make senseOut of a life that must have seemed senseless.A child of God died today.What do we see when we look at a picture...
The Light Mirror
Early in the Loving Parent Guidebook, healthy early childhood development is summarized with a suggestion to further explore on our own. I did this and became fascinated with the concept of “mirroring.” That tender time, when a baby smiles into the face of a loving...
Habits of Fear and Distrust
In recovery—from any dysfunction that brings me to seek help—do I notice what I have in common with others? What is the thread that runs through all the many issues—substance abuse, codependency, workaholism, gambling, acting out one way or several? What motivates me,...
Loss Of My Father
I recently lost my father, and it brought back a lot of repressed memories, I now find myself day-to-day wondering why and what I could have possibly done to deserve such treatment. I have tried committing suicide multiple times but someone always saves me. I have...
Hiding
it’s an old coat, worn, patchedand a little tight under the armsand I slip into it with easehaving worn it many timesit’s very greyness,blandness,a pathetic disguise;a futile defenceI stand,transgressed,compared,ignoredI freeze,hiding in plain sightuntil her anger is...
Natural Cycles: This Too Shall Pass
Former friends of mine, both blind, live near the Mediterranean Sea, where there are no tides. Once, we were near another sea, with tides. To show them what it looks like, we walked on the beach, barefooted, from the embankment to the sea, at different hours, so that...
On Needing Food and Love and Me
Can you please feed me? I’m sorry to bother you. Yes, I know I’m needy. Sorry about that. I’d like to not be hungry but my tummy is starting to hurt and I’m getting weak and shaky. I need food. I wish that was all I needed. I need things that I dare not...
I Blossomed Doing My Fifth Step
Working the steps in ACA helped me understand the adaptive behaviors I learned from the dysfunction in my family. I was raised in what looked like a pleasant upstanding home, but the covert atmosphere (no rage or physical abuse) left me wondering why I was not happy...
A Candle for Me
“I don’t create poetry, I create myself. For me, my poems are a way to me”. Edith SodergranIn grade five I wrote my first poemcalled, “Winter"in a little, red schoolhouseon a little, small deskwith my little, small handThe teacher promised to publish it.I think she...
But Somone Has It Worse
How often I have heardthat someone has it worse.With eight billion people,this statement is certainly true.Yet this truth denies my truth –that my trauma is real –that my health was endangered –that my sanity was at risk.I grew up with domestic violence.Others have...