Overture
I think you meant it, but I couldn’t trust you enough to believe you. For sure you were seeking some sort of closeness, but it was too late. There were too many years of silence, unspoken sentences and rejection. Too many looks of disgust that just brought home that...
Post- Traumatic HeartSpace
Simple human mistake. Traffic ticket in the mail. Or I buy the wrong item at a hardware store. Or I’m reminded of a painful memory. Or a coworker cusses someone out. Or there’s no discernable trigger at all. Suddenly, daddy-Monster explodes – in my face – once again...
Materializing Boundaries
Until I stepped out of denial about abuses, I ignored absolutely what was a boundary, and of what utility it could be… and that I had the right to establish and enforce mine! I am still learning! And it is clearer and clearer when there is a material support...
On and On
ACA members would belong to On-and-On Anonymous were such a fellowship to exist. From my dear friend David! Miriam C
Fighting Back
Yes, I know it is 40 years later, but a task came along that made me think of you. I guess your deliberate and calculated cruelty did lead me back to treatment and, thanks to a gifted therapist, I became aware of my illness (courtesy of my childhood) and I was most...
A New Life in ACA
Cast out of the shadows Facing my pastA process of healing Hoping the changes will last.Coming out of denial,Recognizing the chaos that was therePowerless over the traitsFeelings I no longer could bear.Stuck in the old patternsThe inner drug store’s appealI...
Amends
To amend. Not to amend. Sounds like a footnote. Something not very important.Also sounds a bit like sewing repair. Hmm…It seems amends within 12-step programs are an incredibly vital tool. When I feel bad about something, how it went, what I said,I can make...
The Bride To Be
I can remember a photo of me… Black and white, cut out of a newspaper…My dad, a photographer who rarely took pictures of his children…A photo of me, taken by my dad…I am wearing a full-length white satin wedding dress I madeand pearls. A necklace and earrings.I look...
Taming Terror
TRIGGER WARNING: this share describes violent facts and feelings. Don’t read it unless you’re ready to face them.These facts took place when I was between 17 and 21 years old.Ten years later, I dreamt about it, a nightmare so terrific that I woke up sweating and with...
Objects That Have Comforted Me Over The Years
Hmm. Comfort. What is comfort? Connection, care, contact, and concern.I needed it in people, not objects. Consistency. Comfort? I had a threadbare stuffed cat I loved and used for a pillow.It gave me comfort when I was little.On a day when dad was doing a dump run, he...