A New Life in ACA
Cast out of the shadows Facing my pastA process of healing Hoping the changes will last.Coming out of denial,Recognizing the chaos that was therePowerless over the traitsFeelings I no longer could bear.Stuck in the old patternsThe inner drug store’s appealI...
Taming Terror
TRIGGER WARNING: this share describes violent facts and feelings. Don’t read it unless you’re ready to face them.These facts took place when I was between 17 and 21 years old.Ten years later, I dreamt about it, a nightmare so terrific that I woke up sweating and with...
Objects That Have Comforted Me Over The Years
Hmm. Comfort. What is comfort? Connection, care, contact, and concern.I needed it in people, not objects. Consistency. Comfort? I had a threadbare stuffed cat I loved and used for a pillow.It gave me comfort when I was little.On a day when dad was doing a dump run, he...
Emotional Sobriety
What does it mean to me?Not getting on the fast train to nowhere.Choosing to get on the slow train - the recovery train!Having more intuition and discernment on board to know when I’m in a triggering situation.Having my loving parent on-board to guide me through the...
Amends Vs. Sorry
When making amends, responsibility for my actions is included, and changing my ways.Choosing not to do that again, or at a minimum to be on the path of changing my ways. “Sorry” on the other hand …The “Say you’re sorry…” of childhood is just toxic in my book.Of no use...
Love Letter
Beloved Inner Child,let me start by saying that it's an honor to witness you grow/evolve as a human being.You are a beautiful child, with an amazing capacity as both light and shadow worker.I am so sorry for all the times you tried to connect with others from a place...
Diapers
My little brother is 10 years younger than me. I was in junior high school,coming home to find mom outside weeding or something,and my little brother still in the crib… In dirty diapers, and rocking.Banging his head against one of the solid ends of the crib. Creating...
Amends
To amend. Not to amend. Sounds like a footnote. Something not very important.Also sounds a bit like sewing repair. Hmm…It seems amends within 12-step programs are an incredibly vital tool. When I feel bad about something, how it went, what I said,I can make...
The Bride To Be
I can remember a photo of me… Black and white, cut out of a newspaper…My dad, a photographer who rarely took pictures of his children…A photo of me, taken by my dad…I am wearing a full-length white satin wedding dress I madeand pearls. A necklace and earrings.I look...
I Am
I am not the tension in my shouldersI am a warm summer breezeI am not my hypertensionI am a warm summer breezeI am not the give out in my kneesI am a warm summer breezeI am not the tight muscles in my hipsI am a warm summer breezeI am not the extra cushion around my...