Playing Baseball is Like Working the 12 Steps
I Said
I said I was very suicidal, in serious danger of acting it out, and therefore asked for being urgently hospitalized. I was desperate and called earnestly for help (already a teetotaler for three years, thanks to AA and DESPITE medicine). They found a place for me in a...
Powerless
What did Powerless mean to my inner child? I was powerless growing up in an incredibly controlling and narcissistic envelope, with players of various narcissistic flavors. No red flags here, all normalized. I was powerless over being assigned the role of family...
Lonely Had Become My Middle Name
Another shot at love.just to be met with scorn ending up with the shovecreating a feeling #forlorn.And I kept on trying.To connect with the outer worldand it felt like dyingwhile shadows danced and swirled.Alone again, alone in the darkWhy have you forsaken...
Counting Myself In
Excluded from the playground. Always picked last for any team sport. And when I am picked, quickly excluded from participation. I’m part of my family, but I don’t belong. Expected to be quiet and invisible. Expected to just go...
Loneliness
Loneliness is an apple hanging from a tree.While plenty of brethren, no skins touch.The space between ensures no borers to the core.No branches to mar the perfect exterior.Loneliness is standing in a crowd.Feeling the thump of music but not my heart.Wondering why all...
Reparenting
R is for reframing comments from my critical parent. She is trying to protect me in the only way she knows how. I can love her too. E is for enlightenment, illumination, and understanding. For education to my core, insight, discernment, and growing wisdom. And for...
Inner Child
Brave
Strong willedUnique and proud of itA go getter; doerRiding the wavesAgainst the grainHead always above waterEyes and smile changing the mood of any roomSkilledDeterminedInnocentHard at timesChallengingDemandingDefensiveDefenderPerseveranceNot trustingHow could you?All...
My Right Leg Tells Me a Story
I had a dream last nightI am dreaming latelyafter none for most of my lifeexcept for “stuck feet” dreams, repeatedly, the same dreamagain and again. Go back to sleep, it runs again.Thankfully those are gone now.The door opened around being the speaker for a speaker...