Boundaries

Sobriety is the Limit

Sobriety is the Limit

Years ago, I discovered the notion of limits, and the fact that I had none. I learned to set one.A friend attending regularly a 12-Step meeting was in dire straits: years ago, she had left a violent husband, and was by then living on social welfare with her four...

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Boundaries

Boundaries

As newcomers, we often feel the need to set boundaries with family or friends who don’t understand our program, who may give unwanted advice, or simply trigger our laundry list traits. I had a friend who criticized the way I taught my children manners (or lack...

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You, Me and We

You, Me and We

When you made decisions for me under the guise of taking care of me; you were actually controlling me. When you used the ubiquitous “we” and spoke for both of us because you thought of us as one; you were actually discounting me. When you decided all the cars and...

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The Better Triangle

The Better Triangle

I’m good. . . I’m blameless. . . I know I’m right. Where have I seen those phrases? They are from the Drama Triangle in the Traits Workbook. I saw myself. I would jump from Rescuer, trying to help someone because I did not know the difference between love and pity; to...

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