A Life Beyond My Wildest Dreams
I found ACA when I hit rock bottom. I’d pushed away all the people I loved the most. I could not believe how I had screwed up my life again. Zero self esteem. Dad died on Good Friday. I lost my job. The IRS emptied my bank account as they were looking for the weasel of that husband who lied on his income taxes. I was three months pregnant and my husband left me never to be seen again by me or his unborn child, who, incidentally will be 42 years old in four days.
I have been “working the program” since August 17, 1986. I’ve done the steps in ACA, AA, Al-Anon and CoDA. I have had the gift of seven sponsors and many Fellow Travelers. Looking back, I have been to over 3,000+ meetings. I’ve lost count on how many times I’d been through the ACA Steps. I’ve humbled myself before the God of my understanding with Step Five regarding my repetitive bad behavior too many times to count. My behavior was always the same, only with different faces, so they say; four failed marriages. My family of origin was so destructive and toxic. What you watch, you learn. What you learn, you practice. What you practice, you become. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. I saw a miracle in this program. Expect the best and get it.
Today I have a relationship with a wonderful and kind man who loves me to the moon, and I love him back. No control issues. No fighting. No roller coaster ups and downs. No verbal or physical abuse. Sometimes I just can’t believe it. No drama. No trauma. I had no idea life could be like this. Next month we will be starting our eighth year together.
So many gifts. Walking through the redwoods. Fishing on lakes of glass. Hiking on trails with glacial lakes. Being in the middle of God’s creations of nature and appreciating all the incredible blessings we have on Mother Earth. Birthday celebrations with grandchildren and great grandchildren. Discovering what joy really is. Praying and playing together. Annihilating negativity. Accepting I am in charge of my own destiny with the choices I have made.
Today I know my Higher Power loves me. I know and realize that I am loved. Be kind. Love people. Love God. Forgive. What a gift the ACA program has given me! Thank you to all of you who show up at meetings and have helped me on this journey. Thank you, ACA, for the wonderful gift of a life beyond my wildest dreams.