Incarcerated and Grateful for an ACA Sponsor
My name is Sal and I’m an ACA.
I was introduced to ACA while attending a drug and alcohol counseling vocation. The introduction came through a book, Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Geringer Woitits. I thought this book was very interesting and relatable. I could identify with mostly everything that was written in the book.
I felt like something was calling out to me so I immediately became interested and wanted to learn more about ACA, so I contacted the ACA World Service in Signal Hill, California and requested some literature. A couple of weeks later I received the Big Red Book and the Yellow Step Workbook. I was impressed, especially to see how the trusted servants were always so helpful and polite.
After reading some of the material, I knew that I needed an ACA sponsor. Even though I already had some experience with AA/NA 12 step work, I realized that I had never gone to this in depth level of 12 step work before. To my surprise, within weeks from my requesting an ACA sponsor, I heard back from an ACA trusted servant making himself available to sponsor me through the 12 steps of ACA.
As we started doing the work, I came across some words that I had never heard before such as: wounded Inner Child, Laundry List Traits and family history diagrams. I found it to be very interesting and started digging and uncovering my root causes. At first, I realized that I was in denial about some or part of the Laundry List Traits.
For example, in Trait #1, I knew that I would isolate, but I had never thought that I was afraid of authority figures. By the way, at first I thought that I could only identify with about 6 out of the 14 traits, although after the guidance of my sponsor, I was able to see how I could put at least one story to all 14 of the laundry list. It felt almost incredible.
After completing my family diagram, I was able to find clarity around some of the generational dysfunction that was passed down to me, starting with my great grandparents through my father’s side of the family, and through my grandparents on my mom’s side. I saw the labels: the alcoholism, the religion beliefs of a punishing God, the rejections, the silent treatment way of disciplining, the heavy debt where my grandfather lost everything, the child abuse and neglect, the trauma and the divorces.
There was no more wondering about why I turned out the way I did. I started seeing the patterns. Now the word “wounded inner child” was starting to make a lot of sense. I realized that I had a hole in my soul, not only because of my epigenetics, but also because of all the wounded people in my direct environment.
I am so grateful for the helping hand of ACA, and in specific, to my sponsor who has guided me into becoming a loving caring parent to my wounded inner child. He has provided me with so many tools through step work that I can utilize in times when my inner child wants to throw a tantrum.
Today, I’m in a place where I feel comfortable sitting with my emotions grieving and mourning them. When troubled by another person, my sponsor showed me how to pray to God asking to bless the other person and change me.
ACA has helped me to become aware of my perfectionism, controlling, judgementalism and my All or Nothing thinking.
So the question remains, how has ACA helped me in my recovery? The proof is in the pudding, I’m a changed man. I’m a good listener, a good communicator, I’m forgiving, remorseful, empathetic and sympathetic. I am honest, kind and intelligent, but most importantly, I’m a loving and caring human being.
Thanks ACA
Editorial Note: If you know of someone who is incarcerated, they can request free literature from the ACA World Service Organization: ACA WSO, PO Box 811, Lakewood, CA 90714. Email [email protected] or Phone 1-310-534-1815