Some Insights That Have Helped Me In My Recovery And Life

• My parents are responsible for their failures in how they raised me and my brothers; I am responsible for my life, my choices, my healing, my growth, etc.
• One step forward today; tomorrow, one step forward today; occasionally a step backwards; over time, the bottomless pit becomes a summit-less mountain climb.
• Courage and humility are close cousins. Both were required for me to open the heavy doors to my first support group meeting.
• Analysis and comparisons do not promote healing. My heart is not a piece of machinery to be fixed.
• Labels do not help me heal. I may be totally accurate in calling someone a predator or narcissist, but that doesn’t help me with my own growth and healing.
• Write my story. Write my trauma. Write my healing. Write my heart. Write poorly when I cannot write well.
• Find trustworthy people to share my past trauma with.
• Be careful who I share my past trauma with.

• No matter how many times I work the 12 steps, I never graduate from step 1.
• Life is a gift which comes with no promises.
• “I have to …” is the voice of slavery. “I choose to …” or “I choose not to …” is the voice of freedom.
• Breathe often. Breathe deeply. Scream when necessary.
• My anger is legitimate; the challenge is in finding healthy ways to process my anger.
• If I retaliate against a snake, I’ll get bitten. Snakes are experts at being snakes.
• If I bury my emotions, they’ll demand expression – and not in a socially acceptable manner.
• I can be “right” or I can have personal peace, but not both.

• I have the right to bitterness and resentment. It’s justifiable and it’s a trap!
• People have caused me great harm; people have also provided great support to me in my healing journey.
• The best way to help others is to first do my own healing work.
• I cannot give away what I don’t have.
• I am unable to help anyone who doesn’t accept personal responsibility for their life.
• Standing up to workplace bullies has gotten me into some trouble. But it’s much better than being a doormat.
• As I consistently perform push-ups, my upper body strengthens. The same is true with boundaries and courage.
• What other people think of me is their issue; I don’t have to make it mine.

• Victim or Warrior? My choice.  
• Growth takes place outside my comfort zone, but not within the chaos zone.
• I am stronger than I think.
• Delayed gratification is my friend; it empowers me to obtain what I want short-term AND long-term.
• Where do I find my own personal warrior? I look in a mirror. 
• Those who have all the answers don’t have a clue.
• Doing my own thinking is dangerous. Allowing others to do my thinking for me is far more dangerous.
• True friends will respect my personal and religious autonomy.

Healing Heart Warrior (Tom M.)