Truth & Denial

Truth, the ugly Truth. 
The violence of generations. 
Too painful to bear. 
Locked tightly away in a “safe” room. 

Do not open that door! 
No one wants to know. 
Squander the years away – 
in feigned ignorance. 

The door cracks open and the stench is great. 
Cover that stench with mindless talk 
and sport heroes and religion 
and politics and other distractions. 

Keep that door tightly shut. 
Run away; hide somewhere. 
Don’t go near the Truth. 
It must remain secret. 

But Courage shows up one day 
and recklessly opens the door. 
Just a little at first, 
too much to bear. 

In an unguarded moment, 
I breathe in a little, 
then shut the door again. 
A little Truth merges into my being. 

Post-Traumatic Heart Injury! 
The past merges with the now. 
Truth will not be silenced, 
even decades later. 

I gasp a little, 
then exhale a few toxins. 
Then comes the scream, 
the uncontrollable wailing. 

Later, I breathe easier. 
I enjoy a little refreshing. 
I begin the scary journey 
from my head to my shattered heart. 

Over time, 
I crack the door a little wider. 
I breathe in a little deeper. 
I exhale a few more toxins. 

Attack! Toxic theologians attack! 
They demand that I shut the door. 
They try to “fix” me. 
But I’m not broken; I’m shattered. 

They offer simplistic answers. 
But they don’t have a clue. 
They invent accusations against me. 
They cast me out of their social group. 

But I find new groups, 
those who embrace reality, 
those who gently open the door. 
Together we learn to breathe more fully. 

Yes, Truth can stink. 
But it also opens the door to life. 
I inhale and exhale more fully. 
I breathe and live and love. 

The Truth: 
It really does set me free. 
But only with courage 
to live and love and breathe. 

– Healing Heart Warrior (Tom M.)