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The Better Triangle

The Better Triangle

I’m good. . . I’m blameless. . . I know I’m right. Where have I seen those phrases? They are from the Drama Triangle in the Traits Workbook. I saw myself. I would jump from Rescuer, trying to help someone because I did not know the difference between love and pity; to...
Finding My Limits – The Geiger Counter

Finding My Limits – The Geiger Counter

When I first began intentionally being mindful of discovering what my limits are, I used the visualization of a Geiger counter, like one that is a pin that one might fasten to a uniform such as an X-ray tech would use to determine what amount of radiation they’ve been...
Healthy Boundaries

Healthy Boundaries

I feel like I’m just learning to find healthy boundaries within myself. Recognizing the inner critical voice was pretty straightforward. It has been loud for a very long time. At first, when I heard it, I would try to demand it be silent or go away. Now I have come to...
Boundaries

Boundaries

The garden, edged with wire,a jaunty scarecrow, a bit of coyoteurine, hair shavings from a buzz cut.Don’t call me, text me.stop with the emojis, no morecute animal videos. I’m at the edge of nowhere,on edge, waiting for silence,flicker of senses, a sense of...
Currency Of Codependence

Currency Of Codependence

Growing up, I got the message loud and clear in cruel words and in abusive actions that I was unlovable, a bother, and that there was something inherently wrong with me. When I wasn’t at the end of my mother’s wrath and frustration, I was mostly ignored and forgotten....
Boundaries

Boundaries

I once chastised someone about using state lines as boundaries. Twenty minutes later I found myself making amends because I was using Country borders. Since coming to ACA I have come to understand that my family of origin, for generations, has had little or no...
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